As the buffoons on both sides attempt to thwart "the will of the people" by circumventing the  Constitution, it is a wonderful measure of the resiliency of America that, in this crucial time, we have found humor in so many aspects of this situation. Here are some samples from both sides. Actually, most of them are from Conservatives. Liberals seem to be an incredibly humorless lot.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this summary. I probably should have put these up in the order received but I started just tucking them in wherever they seemed to fit and it got out of hand. If you want to see if  your stuff is here, you will just have to scroll down until you find it, ....but thanks again.

November 11th was Veterans' Day. I hope you took the time to say,"Thanks" to a serviceman or a vet.
[Guess this applies to Republicans only. The Democrats don't seem to know they exist. ;-( ]

Take a stroll back in time through the e-mails concerning events that occurred in Florida and elsewhere as the Democrats tried desperately to steal the 2000 presidential election.

Now, Bill Clinton refuses to retire gracefully and is leading the charge as they attempt to delegitimize the Bush Presidency by suggesting that Gore won the popular vote and the election was stolen from THEM. They were undoubtedly assured by the most skilled vote stealers in the land that the fix was in and Florida was theirs. No wonder they are mad. They thought the election was rigged and lost anyway.


This site has become very graphic intensive. It may take a while for all of the pictures to load. Be patient.  They are worth the wait.

Even the Democrats have had it with dear old Bill.
What will the history books say?  "What a despicable bastard !"

This editorial was written by a Lehigh Grad and former
    Attack Sub Lt.

    Bethlehem, PA - Editorial

    In another ninety-five days a new President will be sworn in
    as the forty-third President of the United States, thus ending
    the most disgraceful and scandal-ridden Presidency of the
    past two hundred and twenty-four years of our nation.  This
    gives cause for a celebration and a reflection upon things
    that I never, ever again will have to be witness to.

    For those West Point, Naval Academy and Air Force Academy
    friends of mine, I recognize the pain that you in particular
    have endured these past eight years with this loathsome
    Commander-In-Chief in the White House.  To my honest,
    hard working friends and family members who value honesty
    and integrity among our elected officials, you have endured
    more than United States citizens should ever have to endure.

    But alas, in ninety-six days, the thoroughly disgusting and
    shameful occupant at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. will be cast
    aside and hopefully forgotten by the nation that he has so
    terribly dishonored.

    In order to celebrate his upcoming departure I have drafted
    the following piece which I have appropriately entitled,
    "Never Again."

  Never Again

    Never again will I have to watch Bill Clinton walk down the
    steps of Air Force One while a proud Marine in full dress
    uniform crisply salutes him, .....  a Marine who fully       comprehends duty, honor, and country in a way that the man he is saluting never will.

    Never again will I have to watch Bill Clinton on Veterans' Day
    place a wreath on the hallowed Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
    while he dramatically bites his lower lip in an effort to appear
    that he cares or even appreciates what this place is all about.
    A place where truly brave men and women who personally paid the ultimate price for freedom are forever remembered.

    Never again will I have to watch Bill Clinton on national
    television wag his finger at each and every American and
    unconscionably lie to us.

    Never again will I have to witness Bill Clinton sending young men and women of the military into frivolous but life-threatening  action to deflect attention from the personal scandals that confront  him at home.

    Never again will I see Bill Clinton's name on a ballot.

    Never again will I be embarrassed by Bill Clinton's disgusting
    and abhorrent behavior with a twenty-four year old woman in the Oval Office.

    Never again will Bill Clinton have the power to conduct an eight  year "social experiment" with the United States Armed Forces, driving the best out while systematically crippling the overall capability, effectiveness and morale of the remaining troops.

    Never again will I have to be embarrassed to say Bill Clinton
    represents me, a proud citizen of the United States of America.

    Never again will Bill Clinton be able to sell the historic Lincoln
    bedroom to the highest bidder, the Chinese, felons, and other
    disreputable characters.

    Never again will I have to watch Bill Clinton departing church
    with his equally pitiful wife, clutching an oversized Bible in his hand as if to make us believe that he has repented for any of his misdeeds.

    Never again will I have to see a joint session of Congress rise   to their feet in the Capital building when the deceitful and
    shameless Bill Clinton enters the chamber.

    And finally,

    Never again will I have to refer to Bill Clinton as "President of
    the United States."

    May God Bless America


This is a letter I sent to MSNBC this morning.  If you didn't believe that
the Dems are trying to steal votes, you should have heard this guy.  I could
have accepted Gore last tuesday, but no longer..........

(Name of active duty officer withheld)


I was watching your morning discussion segment when the
moderator read a part of a Los Angeles Times article on
how Democrats were instructing their people on how to
look for "dimpled or scratched chads" that would
favor AL Gore and "keep your mouth shut" when
they saw the same marks on a Bush chad.  When asked about
this, one of the democrats made the comment that this was
a "perfectly acceptable strategy".  I hope I'm
not alone in thinking that this is one of the most
un-American statements I've ever heard in my life and
smacks of Communist rhetoric.
   These people just don't get it.  As an American
serviceman, I expect that the votes should show what the
citizens of this country want, and it makes me sick to
think that these people are only interested in the rights
of those that voted for their candidate.

(Name of active duty officer withheld)
Commander, USN

January 20, 2001

Our Eight Year National Nightmare is Finally Over!
Pray for the Success of our New President!


On his last day in office Bill Clinton granted pardons to Susan Mc Dougal and others involved in Whitewater and other Arkansas misdeeds (all people who could have hurt him personally if he had not struck a deal with the Special Prosecutor Robert Ray) but he did NOT pardon Web Hubbell ...... The only conclusion one can draw is that Web knows things that can still hurt Hillary.

My God! He is at Andrews Air Force Base  giving another speech.....
He will hog the cameras as long as the networks let him.
Give it up Bill ........ this is George W. Bush's day. Get the hell out of WASHINGTON.

January 19, 2001

Well, We may get him out of Washington ..... or maybe not. Today, he copped a plea bargain so he won't be prosecuted and won't go to prison. Too bad.
And he got on TV again, didn't he?

January 18, 2001 Prime Time

Hey, it's wonderful me again. I know I have no class , giving this goodbye speech right in the middle of Dubya's moment, but these stupid networks will put me on the air while I'm sitting on the John if I ask them to.


January 6, 2001

Whew!  It is finally really over.
The Congressional Black Caucus tried once again to steal the election by attempting to get Florida's votes thrown out. One by one, they complained, but lacking a supporting signature from any member of the Senate, the complaints were overruled. Not one Senator was willing to prolong the Certification any longer by supporting any of the complaints. The vote of the Electoral College was certified and Bush / Cheney were declared the winners. Now the fat lady can REALLY sing.

Meanwhile, using the Freedom of Information Act, some of the Media, and others with an agenda, will be re-counting, counting, counting until it comes out their way.

There is an upside.

Freedom of Information is not Free and those counties will make them pay through the nose for assistance from County employees and use of their facilities during the counting.

DECEMBER 18, 2000

So far, all attempts to steal the election have failed. The Electoral College votes have been cast. The final irony is that after all of the attempts by Democrat operatives to get Republican Electors to switch their votes, one Democrat Elector in the  District of Columbia just couldn't bring herself to vote for Gore and abstained. She said it was a protest vote over some situation in the District of Columbia. Yeah, right!



George W. Bush

Laura Bush

And the Veep-Elect and his Spouse

Dick and Lynne Cheney


Peace On Earth And Good Will To All Men .... and Women, Too!

A Christmas card sent from a Democrat to his Republican friends:

    The election is over, the results are known,
    The will of the people has clearly been shown.
    Let's forget the quarrels and show by our deeds,
    We will give our new leader all the help that he needs.
    So let's all get together, and let bitterness pass,
    I'll hug your elephant and you kiss my ass.

[Who said the Democrats are a humorless lot. :-) ]


All over but the shouting  ?
Not on your Aunt Tillie's tintype. Click HERE for what's happening now.

DECEMBER 19, 2000

Today, Al Gore met with President Elect George W. Bush to brief him on the world situation. The meeting lasted about 8 minutes.

Guess that's all the time Gore needed to tell Bush everything HE knew.


The cruelest cut of all .......


(AP) AL GORE HAS WON THE ELECTION ..... for District Director
   of the Marion Soil and Water Conservation Board in Salem, Ore. No one
   ran for the post, so write-in votes determined the winner. Gore won with
   23 of the    4,570 votes cast, easily beating George W. Bush, who also got
   a few    votes. "Voters don't understand what it means when they write in a
   silly name," said Marion County Clerk Al Davidson. "But it's their right, and
   it's their tax dollars that pay for it."

   The Vice President cannot actually take the job, however, since to serve,
   "you have to own or manage land in the zone," Davidson said. Gore actually
   came in second, but vote winner Donald Duck was disqualified because he's an
   animated character.

  Which is something no one has ever said  about Gore.


December 16, 2000

Gore Forces are Still Trying to Steal the Election

Al Gore conceded, but he did that once before and reneged.

The really frightening thing is the way Democrat operatives are working nation wide to try to get Republican Electoral College Electors to change their allegiance and vote for Gore. Yesterday, I spoke to an attorney, a friend of one of the Florida Electors, who told me that the Elector had received tens of thousands of e-mails urging him to vote for Gore. Private investigators are digging into the private lives of Electors, all over the country, trying to find an affair or some shady activity that the Elector would not want made public. These operatives are seeking to blackmail Electors into changing their votes.
There is a razor thin margin of victory in the Electoral College and less than a  handful of votes would be enought to accomplish a coup. It ain't over til its over and it won't really be over until the Electoral College votes.

There is at least one semi-funny Liberal out there and here is his contribution.

December 14, 2000

Bush to be smitten later today.

In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation,
under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule last night's
Supreme Court decision that handed the White House to George Bush.

"I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning
on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie
back and let Bush get away with this B S."

"I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in
Florida 'will never be known.'   Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who
voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly
20,219 votes."

[Editor's Note: That is precisely the number the "fixers"told Gore he
would win by but they goofed in not negating enough Bush votes.]

Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict
overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al
giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's
Word for possible grounds for appeal.

"God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist
Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential
Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the Constitution of
the State of Florida."

"Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead
of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean."

God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct,
explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no
grounds to give the White House to "an idiot."

"Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get
real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them:
Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."

Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W.Bush's
 prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today.
In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God
will take all of Bush's goats and livestock, strip him of his wealth
and possessions, sell his family into slavery, force the former
presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and afflict him
with deep boils.

Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.



Hey, Not so fast. I think I found one more for Gore.


DECEMBER 13, 2000 9:00 pm

DECEMBER 12, 2000 10:45 pm:

Reuters announces that Ed Rendell the head of the Democratic National Committee has asked Al Gore to concede.
Reuters has also announced that Al Gore is studying the ruling but, for now, he has no intention of conceding.

In the words of the immortal Casey Stengel,
"It ain't over 'til its over."

Al, Its over.

George W. Bush will  be our Next President


Here comes the fat lady, ready to sing.

Al Gore rushes to head her off.


Sorry, Al

It's really NOT your day.


DECEMBER 12, 2000

The United States Supreme Court Has Spoken and the American People Have been wrung through the wringer again. The court has reversed the Florida Supreme Court Decision requiring a recount because of no consistent standards for counting in all of the Florida counties but the case was remanded back to the Florida Court to do "something" about that in a manner consistant with this decision.
It does not seem possible to come close to meeting this in the time remaining.
It is back in the hands of the Florida Supreme Court and who knows what
mischief that coven of liberals can concoct in the next few days.

The good news: For now, the manual recount is stopped dead in its tracks.


Isn't it amazing the lengths to which hypocrite Al Gore will go. He is letting surrogates handle the last ditch suits in Seminole and Martin Counties and is pretending to distance himself from them. Why? Because he is out there on TV daily repeating the mantra that "every vote should be counted" while these suits are trying to deprive roughly 25,000 citizens of their votes when there was no problem with their ballots. Testimony in both trials has shown that both Democrats and Republican "operatives" (love that sounds so sinister) added missing voter ID numbers to the applications for absentee ballots. The Dems did it in their party headquarters before delivery to the Canvassing board. The Republicans did it by removing the applications from the Canvassing room, correcting them by adding the missing numbers and then returning them. The Dems are trying to put a criminal spin on the latter. Gore is praying for just one judge who will see it his way.

Give it up Al.

Today is December 7th, the anniversary of A Day That Will Live in Infamy, ... the date of the Japananese sneak attack on Pearl Harbor.

We should ALL be doing some praying today ..... praying that three Florida Courts do not make this a Second Day That Will Live In Infamy.


Two Florida Circuit Courts did the right thing and did NOT throw out the absentee ballots of voters whose ballot applications were subject to irregularities that did not compromise the ballots themselves.

But on Dec. 8th, a day that will truly live in infamy, the liberal activist Florida Supreme Court in a 4 to 3 split decision, thumbed its nose at the Florida Legislature and the US Supreme Court, awarded to Gore, votes that arrived AFTER the Courts OWN deadline, and ordered a recount of "undervoted" ballots statewide.
They did not order a recount of ALL votes. This selective recount is a fishing expedition hoping to "find" more votes for Gore.

There is no honor is this Florida Supreme Court ....... NONE!!!!!!

 Except Chief Justice Wells. God bless him for not knuckling under to his liberal colleagues.


OOPS! The U.S. Supreme Court stopped the recount. Sorry, Al.


December 6, 2000

You may be interested in this Letter to the Editor. It was in the San Diego Union Tribune on December 6, 2000.  Vice Presidential candidate Sen. Joseph Lieberman had  recently asked the question, "What will we tell our children if every  vote is not counted?"

 Here is the response of one citizen:

 "As a former teacher, I have been concerned about Joe Lieberman's question, "What will we tell our children?"

 "What we should, and must, tell our children is that if they fail to mark the right answer on an exam, or do not fill in the entire test, they will not get credit for their answers. If they do it often enough and if they
 do not ask for help or read the directions properly, they will fail. We should tell them that when they are older and move to Florida, they must fully read their ballot and remove the entire chad and not keep an entire nation waiting because of their mistakes. We must also teach them to read and read well, to play by the rules and expect a favorable outcome.  Teaching them to make excuses for their mistakes has led to a society of victims unable to take responsibility."


"The real destroyer of the liberties of the people is he who spreads among them bounties, donations, and benefits."   Plutarch

Some news items that have been overshadowed by the election snafu:

Coca-Cola announced today that, starting immediately, all cans of soda
destined for Palm Beach County, Florida will be clearly stamped on the


The Florida Department of Transportation has finally come up with a
reason for all the intersection accidents in Palm Beach County, Florida... no
one knows what the arrows mean!


Newly released statistic:  87% of the 'blue hairs' in Palm Beach
County, Florida used to be blondes.


A recount has been ordered of all bingo card winnings over the past
five years in Palm Beach County, Florida.


It was a simple mistake in Palm Beach County, Florida.  After all, the
names 'Gore and Buchanan' look almost exactly alike when printed out.


There is already a book out called "Voting For Dummies".  In order for
it to sell in Palm Beach County, Florida, they'll have to first teach most
of the people to read.


Everyone in Palm Beach County, Florida believes in the Ten
Commandments but 78% of them also believe you can choose five of them.


Doctors have discovered the problem with Palm Beach County, Florida
voters...  68% of them are dyslexic. They thought the word "vote" was


The problem with the ballot in Palm Beach County, Florida stems from
the fact that it is largely a retirement area. 77% of the retirees use to be
That's the segment who asked for another chance to vote...they thought
they were filing an appeal.

Thought you might want this for your Election page.

 And I will wet my diaper if I don't get it.


Whats the difference between Al Gore and a puppy.

After 6 weeks, a puppy opens its eyes and stops whining.



Thought you would like this one.




If The President Calls,

Please  Find Out Who He Is.


From an e-mail from Medina, Saudi Arabia:

They have a saying here that people get the government they deserve.


Al Gore is grasping for anything that would
make him president. You know the fight is almost over when
the only factions now offering you assistance are Mayflower
and United Van Lines.

A Florida man has agreed to pay over $7000 in fines for speeding
through 705 tollbooths without paying.  He was originally accused of running
503 tollbooths but asked the Palm Beach County Canvassing Board for a recount
and gained 202 more.


Subject: Al Gore Has Subpoenaed Santa Clause...

It is rumored that Al Gore has subpoenaed Santa Clause over some
"irregularities" that have been found on Christmas list handling

After the recent Florida Supreme Court ruling ordered a 3rd election
recount, Gore has allegedly said that "checking a list, and checking it twice"
cannot possibly discern the true wishes of the children.

And the part about "who has been naughty, and who has been nice" is
clearly a value judgment that does not take into account the circumstance
surrounding said malfeasance.

Santa's list was obtained under the "Freedom of Information Act" and
immediately a boiler room call center was formed to call all children to
see if items listed on Santa's list were, in fact, the true desires of the

Several indicated that they had intended to ask for Sony Playstations,
and instead had checked off Nintendo 64.  Many of the children were
emotionally distraught and felt that the entire Christmas letter writing experience
was outdated and "hard to understand".

In reviewing the post marks of the Christmas letters, it was found by
Democrat Canvassing officials that certain letters, particularly those
that requested "G.I. Joe" dolls were not properly postmarked.  Those letters
(obviously from Republican children) were thrown out.

Democrat officials have asked that Palm Beach, Broward and Dade County
children, each be contacted in person and have their requests reviewed
for accuracy.

Santa Claus indicated that there was not possibly enough time to get to
each child by December 25.

The Florida Supreme Court is now considering the postponement of
Christmas until December 30th, to allow for a "full and accurate" list to be


First there were swinging chads, then hanging chads and now we
hear there can be buildups of CLOGGED chads.  Doesn't that sound like
something that belongs on a country music show or on the FRAUD page :


Far Side Goes to Floriduh.





Tuesday November 28, 2000

Vice President Al Gore is contesting the election in Florida based on "incomplete and inaccurate" vote tallies.

 Last night, whimpering Al Gore, in a nationally televised speech, cried about
10,000 votes in Miami Dade County that were not counted at all. This is another of his brazen lies. These ballots were counted ... TWICE. They just weren't hand counted his way.

Here are the realities of the nation-wide ballot count.
Voter error invalidated more than 2 million ballots nationwide .

                      By Audrey Hudson
                      THE WASHINGTON TIMES

                           The uncounted ballots in Florida which have played a  key role in Democratic challenges are just a drop in the  bucket of ballots dismissed nationwide because of voter error, say political observers.
                           An estimated 180,000 votes were dismissed in Florida out of 6.1 million votes cast because of improper voting  procedures.
                           However, more than 2 million ballots were tossed out in all 50 states and also will not be counted, said Curtis Gans, director of the Committee for the Study of the  American Electorate.
                           Mr. Gans estimates that between 1 percent and 1.8 percent of votes cast or 2.1million to 2.8 million ballots were eliminated nationally.
                           "These are people who by one form or another did not accurately do their ballot, and it was thereby thrown out for  one reason or another," Mr. Gans said.

(So, another exaggeration exposed. Al Gore claims to have won the popular vote but unless these two million plus are "counted" we won't know if this is true or not, will we?)
 In Nassau County, Florida, as in the rest of the state, there was a mandatory machine recount.
Gore is now contesting the vote in that county because he got more votes in the first count than in the second and he wants the FIRST count to stand.
Yes, he wants to pick and choose among the counts and pick the one that suits him.

Heck, That's fair isn't it?


Gaaa uuu aaa leeeeee!        Du uuuu UUUUU uh.


The wisdom of the Founding Fathers grows more apparent by the day.

Sorry Al, but nowhere in the Constitution does it say a loser has to concede.

So cry all you want ..... but don't do it on my TV.

Tuesday November 28, 2000


Suggested Last Minute Instructions to
the Hand Counters in Florida
(In Case You Get a Chance to Count One More Time)

Given the recent Florida Supreme Court decision
allowing for manual recounts to continue, please use
the following guidelines when assessing the ballots.

1.  Dimpled Chad for Al Gore:  Clearly, the voters
intended to cast a ballot for Al Gore, but failed to
fully penetrate the paper due to being too weak from
not receiving badly needed prescription medication
because they can't afford it.  COUNT THIS VOTE FOR AL

2.  Hole punched for Pat Buchanan:  Since nobody in
his right mind would vote for Pat Buchanan, the voter
was obviously confused by the butterfly ballot.
Further, only Democrats would be confused by this

3.  Dimpled Chad for George Bush:  Obviously, the
voters started to vote for George Bush, then had a
change of heart and decided not to.  COUNT THIS VOTE

4.  Both Al Gore and George Bush hole punched:  What
most certainly happened here was that the voters
intended to cast their ballots for Al Gore, and
punched the hole.  Then, spying George Bush's name and
realizing he would take away their social security,
the voters became enraged and stabbed the name with

5.  No vote indicated:  Voters were so worried about
accidentally voting for Pat Buchanan they decided not
to risk it, and didn't vote at all.  Alternatively,
they figured it was only common sense that they would
vote for Al Gore--who else would they vote for?  They
assumed it was silly to have to go through all the
effort to punch a hole for somebody.  Either way,

6.  Hole punched for Ralph Nader:  Look, the only
reason these people voted for Nader was because they
assumed Gore would win.  Imagine their horror the next
day when they discovered they may have given Bush the
margin of victory!  Since these voters did not want to

7.  Military ballots:  Hey, if these people don't even
have the ambition to get to the polling places, what
right do they have to vote?  DISQUALIFY THESE BALLOTS.

7.  Hole punched for George Bush:  Our poor, confused
citizens clearly didn't understand what lay in their
best interests.  Our task here is to determine their
INTENT, which was to vote for the candidate most
likely to provide additional, badly needed federal

(--copyright 2000 W. Bruce Cameron)


 A proposed revision to the rules of golf is being sought in South
 Florida which  will replace the traditional call of "FORE".

 Once a player has hit an  errant shot he will be allowed to call "GORE"
 while the ball is still in  flight.  He can then replace the ball in the
 same spot and  hit it again. The  player can do this until he is
 satisfied the ball is going where he intended to hit it in the first place.
 This will cause the time of play to be extended until such time as
 the player can claim the hole.

 If by chance the ball hangs or is leaning on the lip of the
 hole, it should be counted as good since that was the golfer's intent.

 This revision is causing some consternation to the PGA but proponents
 say it is only fair.  A test of this new rule was recently played out in an
exclusive club in Palm Beach County, Florida and the first hole only
 took 7 days to complete...


Let 'em go, let 'em go!!!

Help !

As you are probably aware, if the voting results in Florida
stand as they are now, George W. Bush will be our next
President. This will have catastrophic results in our vital,
no, indispensable entertainment industry. Barbara Streisand,
Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon, Whoopie Goldberg, Alec Baldwin,
among many others have sworn to leave the country if George W.
Bush is elected President. And this is where YOU can help. We
need volunteers to help pack and to load moving vans.

We also need volunteers to provide airfare for these
irreplaceable national treasures so they can relocate before
they can change their minds. For the cost of a small SUV you
can sponsor one of these celebrities and their unfortunate
relocation. You will know that your efforts are helping when
you receive postcards, letters and pictures from your chosen
"refugee" as they learn to become a useful citizen in the
third world country of their choosing.

You will help, won't you?? It costs so little, but it means
so much!!! Call 1-800-deport-a-lib. Operators are standing by.

Major credit cards are accepted.



Interesting election statistics:

  Population of counties won by Gore: 127 million
  Population of counties won by Bush: 143 million

  Square miles of country won by Gore: 580,000
  Square miles of country won by Bush: 2,427,000

  States won by Gore: 19
  States won by Bush: 29

  Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Gore: 13.2
  Average Murder per 100,000 residents in counties won by Bush: 2.1

  Identifiable idiots:
         Palm Beach County 19,000
         Tallahassee 4


But Seriously Folks

To the Honorable Supreme Court Justices of the State of Florida,

  Chapter 102 of the Florida Statutes. Section 112 is directed  at county  election boards, and reads, "Returns must be filed by 5 p.m.  on the 7th day   following the ... general election." The same section backs up this mandatory deadline by requiring the Secretary of State to fine each county election  board member $200 for each day the returns are late. Even the definitionally-challenged Bill Clinton would have a hard time avoiding the clear meaning of this provision.

  But wait, it gets even clearer. Section 111 is directed at the state election board and reads, "If the county returns are not received by the Department of State by 5 p.m. of the seventh day following an election, all missing  counties shall be ignored, and the results shown by the returns on file shall be certified."

  So what is the law in this case? A specific requirement (backed up by mandatory fines) that counties certify their returns by 5:00 p.m. on the seventh day after an election (Nov. 14) and a specific requirement that the state ignore the counties that do not. Not only is each provision clear by itself, but is in perfect harmony with the other.

  That's "what the law is" in this case. The facts to which this law must be applied are that some counties did not want to comply with the deadline  because they were doing manual recounts after two machine counts had already  been completed. Rather than being required to finish manual recounts by the
deadline, they said the deadline must be waived for their manual recounts.

  It is time to put partisan politics behind you and uphold the Rule of Law according to your sworn oaths. "We, the People" DEMAND it of you. Nothing less than one of the cornerstones of American Liberty is at stake here. America is in crisis and if you allow the Democrats to steal this election through chicanery, you risk seeing America destroyed by the first true civil war. Don't think it can't happen. America is culturally divided to a disastrous degree. Please do your duty honestly and do not attempt to legislate from the Bench. Florida law is clear and unambiguous.

  This email is being widely distributed across America and we shall be watching closely. Bring a legimate closure to this election--for "We, the  People" will not accept a fraudulent administration.



    The Florida Supreme Court

   Chief Justice Charles T. Wells      850-921-1096
   Justice Leander J. Shaw, Jr.         850-488-0208
   Justice Major B. Harding             850-414-7643
   Justice R. Fred Lewis                  850-488-0007
   Justice Harry Lee Anstead           850-488-2281
   Justice Barbara J. Pariente           850-488-8421
   Justice Peggy A. Quince              850-922-5624

  General e-mail for the Florida Supreme Court is:

These are the liberal Justices of the Florida Supreme Court who approved the selective recount that put YOU, FLORIDA, and the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA  through more than a month of unnecessary turmoil .

Harry Lee Anstead
Barbara J. Pariente
R. Fred Lewis
Peggy A. Quince

Post these names on your refrigerator.

In a future election, when you see these names on your ballot next to the question, "Shall these justices of the Supreme Court be retained?"Vote a resounding , "NO!"
( If you are in a county that uses punch cards, make sure the chad is punched out completely and not left hanging. Let there be no misunderstanding as to the "intent of the voter.")

Want to show your support for Florida Secretary of State, Kathrine Harris? Her e-mail address is:


Monday November 27, 2000

Clinton refuses to release the $5,300,000 set aside for the transition team and will not give Bush the keys to the transition offices.

7:30 Sunday November 26, 2000
From the Gore camp:

Whine, Whine Whine,
Do Over !
Do Over !
Do Over !
I Wasn't Ready

(And, Al, by you childish behavior you have proven that you will NEVER be ready to be president.)

11th Commandment

Thou shalt not steal elections

Al Gore, Commander 'n Thief?

Not if MY vote counts.


This guy put too much work into this one to hold it any longer.

Subject: Breaking News!!

I just heard breaking news that CNN is revisiting the outcome
of the CIVIL WAR - it appears that it was too close to call and
the South may still have a chance.

Documents were found that support the fact that some people joined the
wrong side - apparently they weren't aware that their states were part
of the South and they were fighting for the North.

The line between the North and South was "just too confusing" for

A recount of all the battles is being simulated with new
populations via computer to see who would have actually won.
Right now it's just too close to call.


It doesn't matter who votes, it only matters who counts the votes. Josef Stalin



  Remember the joke that was making the rounds prior to the election that stated that due to
the larger than usual turnout expected this year Republicans would vote on Tues. the 7th and Democrats
would vote on Wednesday the 8th?

    Well you might have known it. On the morning the 8th,  6 Democrats showed up looking to vote.
And now they are claiming foul and want to run the election all over again.  As Bob Ripley would say
"Believe It Or Not"


  Another election question, if this is the uprising of the masses to take back the government,
did Clinton and Gore miss the boat by failing to make gun owners and soldiers lose their vote?

History Quiz

Did Washington's troops at Valley Forge file absentee ballots?(always good for school kids).

The Japanese are sending us 50,000,000 cases of viagra.
They've heard the whole country is having trouble with our election.

Palm Beach County: We put the "duh" in Florida.
Here's a scary thought.

The Democrats tried to fudge the last census, suggesting that we should do a computer simulation instead of actually counting people because some people might not get counted.  Sound familiar?
If Al Gore wins this one, by the time the next election rolls around, people will not have to vote. A computer will divine the intentions of each registered voter and vote for him. No need to vote and no need for a recount.
Three Democrat ALGORithms will concur on the winner .... and guess who it will be.


It Is A Mistake To Call Palm Beach Voters Dumb.
They Were Told To Punch Hole  2
They Punched Hole  2.

Well, ....DUH!
Just go into any supermarket parking lot in Palm Beach County.
Should anyone who is unable to follow an eight foot yellow arrow on black asphalt
be permitted to vote?

    Did you wonder election night why we listen to news anchors after they panicked
when subtracting one number from another, usually giving up and asking for someone
off camera to help?

    Did you think that northern newspersons sound foolish saying "you all", I mean
"y'all" is bad, but at least it goes with grits?

    Did Bush make a mistake with transition announcements, or was it a plan to get his
cabinet members out to the public in case of a revote? Colin Powell in his cabinet would

    Did Christopher ruin his image in history by overstating the activity of the Secretary
of State and relating it to fascist and totalitarian governments?

    Every notice Gore tilts his head everytime he lies, might be the pain stops him
from laughing.

    If ballots are missing, will the legal teams hand count the gator vote, hope, hope.

    Will there be a shortage of turkeys around the country with so many attorneys in

    For the record, the hurricane force winds should not be considered a natural disaster,
what do you expect with so many hot air bags in one place, Florida should know how
to handle them.

    This years best Christmas gift, Florida lets the third hand-recount be done by the legal
teams, should take 7 courts and two weeks per vote.

    New law for Florida, no out-of-staters are allowed to come to the state just to see us do
counts.  Anytime the population goes over 1% of lawyers, any more entering must pay
an air pollution charge and will be limited to 35 words per minute.

    Bush, mad enough to pop a blood vessel or is it a real boil?

    Gore has yet to go after the currently dead, those that voted and have since died,
if the state allows revote, what about those votes, after all, most of the people that
voted for Gore likely had a heart attack after thinking he might get in, and died. If a corpse
can run for Governor of Missouri seems only fair that the dead should get a revote in Florida.

    To speed up the recount, maybe we should only count people that said they voted
twice in error and are Democrats,  since they are the only voters admitting that they
are too stupid to understand a ballot.

     Ralph Nader should get a recount, for all the people that put the card in upside-down.


Now we know why the Liberal Florida Supreme Court wants to wait until Monday to decide if the recounted votes will be accepted. This gives the recounting counties a target. When the absentee ballots are all counted, they will know how many Gore votes must be "found" to beat Bush.
If they "find" enough, they will be included.

And the National election will have been stolen.

This letter was sent to and published by the St. Augustine Record.

   The Democrat strategy became very clear when they sent a team of
their dirtiest players to Florida and announced their intention to
initiate law suits even before the recount had started.
    The Democrats don't care a whit about the "will of the people" in
Palm Beach County, or anywhere else. They have only one agenda here, ...
get Al Gore into the White House, whatever it takes.

  When the Electoral College meets in December, only delegations from
states that have certified the results will be permitted to vote.

    A state delegation cannot be certified as long as the outcome of the
election is tied up in the courts. If the Florida count can be tied up
until all of the litigation has run its course, the entire state will
have been disenfranchised and Al Gore wins by default.

    Here is a scary thought , if the Democrats succeed in winning the
White House by this strategy, the stage will be set to litigate outcomes
and tie up enough close-vote states' Electoral College votes to steal
the White House again in the future. The Dems may be there forever.


And, to emphasize the point, this just in.


Here is the latest scenario.

George Bush was elected on 11-7-00.
He was elected again on 11-18-00.
He will be elected again on 11/20 or 21/

However, Gore supporters will appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court.
 It was long since decided that no president may be elected three times.


Pictures from protests around Palm Beach County

One more recount now appears to be needed in Palm Beach County.
Since one outwardly partisan member of the team recounting votes there
has been seen be several individuals (who have filed sworn affidavits)
putting Bush ballots in the pile of Gore ballots. The Gore pile must be
recounted to make certain no Bush ballots "accidentally" found their way into
the Gore pile.
Here's yet another outsider sticking his nose into the Florida voting process.
 I am fed up with seeing outsider Senator Bob Kerry (Dem. Nebraska) mentioning the poor weak 85 year old woman who didn't have the strength to punch out a chad.
It has been a standard tactic of Gore to drag out "someone" to prove a point . . . .  so make him identify and drag out this poor weak old woman and let her demonstrate to a panel of geriatric specialists that she is truly unable to punch out a chad. . . . And let her vote a full sample ballot.
I don't believe she exists. She is another Gore team fabrication.
The Dade County Miami Canvassing Board has had enough. They cannot possibly complete the recount by the deadline set by the Florida Supreme Court so they unanimously voted to stop counting ... and did.
The Democrats are now suing to force them to keep counting.

Meanwhile, the DNC has sent a delegation of convincers to talk to the Dade County Canvassing Board.


The Florida Supreme Court rejected the move by Gore lawyers to force Dade County to continue recounting.
Big deal. They know a recount cannot be completed by their arbitrarily selected completion date.
So, ..... this is a little PR move to make the Florida Supreme Court appear to be "fair".
Yeah, right!


Representative Wexler
claims  the Ballot used in
Palm Beach County
is too confusing. He has
proposed the following Ballot
for a re-do of that vote.
He thinks all seniors will
understand THIS Ballot.


Designed For  Elderly  Floridians


Bush -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -   B  5
Gore -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -   G 50
Nader  -  -  -  -  -  - - -  N 36
Buchanan  -  -  -  -  - -   B 10


Do you really believe that thousands of Palm Beach County voters independently called Representative
Wexler to cry about the fact that they might have been confused by the layout of the ballot?

Is your Representative in Congress the first person you call when you have a problem?  I think not.

The facts:
The Democrats hired a Texas telemarketing firm to call all Democrats who voted in the election and ask if they think they might have been confused by the ballot. .......If so call this number (Representative Wexler's number).

Thousands of loyal party members did just that.

Come on. Who are you Dems kidding anyway?


These Ballots still are rolling in.  Now our New New York Senator as her first order of business wants to abolish the electrical [sic] college. Notice the similarity to what     Is  Is.  Unless this thing flip flops again i.e. Bush gains the popular and Gore gets the electricians.  If this turns out to be  the case she wants to leave it the way it is.




    We give equal time around here. This was sent to me by a liberal Democrat
    reflecting his perception of the Palm Beach County ballot.

To me this is an admission that the Democrats in Palm Beach County could not find their butts with both
hands if their pants were on fire. ( And Gore has had his pants on fire more than once this campaign. ;-)


Please vote carefully.
If your circle touches the picture of another candidate,
your vote will be rejected.

This is what a circle looks like.


Clintonesque ?

Once more Black has become White.
Up has become Down.
The Left is Keeping Pregnant Ballots Alive ?
The Right is Being Asked to Abort GI's Votes

 After watching these grown-up-looking people count dimples and pimples and listening to them say Gore or Bush, I wonder if they realize how lucky they are. What if one of these candidates had been named Cherdasenkoluanskiwald!

Guess Palm Beach County would have thrown in the towel about now. :-)


The Democrats care nothing  about the rule of law.
It is all about the rule of lawyers. The team with the most lawyers wins.
There are clear laws on the books in Florida, all of which are being trampled by the Liberals.
Starting with the U.S.Constitution and running all the way down to local ordinances. Liberals ignore any law they don't like and legislate through judicial rulings of Liberal judges.
Their backup plan......
They are now lobbying duly elected Republican Electoral College Electors to change their votes. They have even hired private eyes to look into the backgrounds of Electors in hopes of finding something that can be used to blackmail (my word, not theirs; theirs is "persuade") the Electors into voting for Gore.
These are really nice guys.


Hey! .... I won the lottery !!!!

  ... Except that I marked the wrong holes on the
  card, but I meant to mark the right holes not the
  wrong holes, so can I please have another card to
  mark and this time I will try real hard to mark the
  right holes, just like I tried to do the first time
  when my glasses fogged up due to the faulty heating
  system and besides the little pencil wasn't sharpened
  properly, and somebody bumped my arm.

  Don't make me call Jessie Jackson about this....


And speaking of Jesse Jackson ........

Why did HE go charging down to Florida?

To organize demonstrations demanding that the Electoral College grant
more scholarships for minorities.


If there was ever any doubt in your minds,



IS  the center of the universe.




The Office of Personnel Management for the United States government
today announced the 2001 holiday schedule for federal employees.

There will be two fewer holidays in Washington D.C. next year.

Halloween and Thanksgiving have been cancelled.

The witch is moving to New York and she's taking the turkey with her.


At one Florida precinct, a bus load of mentally challenged people was brought
in to vote. The person in charge of the group lined them up, checked them in, and
accompanied them, one by one, into a voting booth  where he "assisted" them
in casting their votes. One of the voters came out of the booth shouting, "Yippee!
I voted, I voted, I voted."  She then turned to the person who "assisted" her and
shouted, "Who did I vote for?"

You guess.

The bus had Gore-Lieberman stickers all over it.

The Democrats running things in Florida have sent a five page memo to
the Dems on canvassing boards throughout the the state instructing them on
how to disallow the absentee ballots from servicemen overseas. The man who
wants so badly to be their Commander in Chief is trying desperately to
disenfranchise the brave men and women honorably serving our country around
the world.

 G.I.s Screwed Again !!!

Catch 22!!!

Lets say you are a on board a Navy ship and want to mail your absentee ballot. You follow all the rules, get your ballot witnessed, date it, and mail it before election day. A helicopter picks it up and it ends up being delivered without  a postmark. Tough luck fella, the Democrats will follow the LETTER of the law and your vote will be thrown out.

Ok, you are on a ship that, for whatever reason, does not get its mail picked up but you will be in port in a few days. When your ship docks, the ballots are mailed and the postal service puts a post mark on your ballot, but it is after election day. Tough luck sailor, this one will be thrown out, too, because it has a postmark.

One rejected because because it doesn't have a postmark and the other because it does. These are matters over which you have no control.

The Dems are very concerned about the intent of the voters in three Florida counties, bending over backwards over "dimples" and "zits" and "hanging and pregnant chads" and pin pricks, but they care nothing for your right to vote and the intent of your ballot. They have rejected your ballot out of hand on any technicality.

Remember how the Democrats treated your sacred right to vote the next time you send in your ballot.

Vote the scoundrels out.

Thanks Al and Joe,
The service men and women who put our lives on the line every day for YOUR freedom.


In the face of  public opinion, Gore and Lieberman are now paying lip service to letting absentee ballots from our men and women in uniform count. BUT in every Florida county there is a team of lawyers trying their damndest to block every service absentee ballot on every conceivable technicality.

Who is kidding who, here?

My husband fought in WWII and his outfit liberated a concentration camp.
If he were still overseas, I wonder if Senator Lieberman and the many elderly residents
of these three counties who were liberated by him and his comrades would want to deny
him the right to vote.

What a stupid thought.  Of course they would.

And Clinton does his part to disenfranchise the military.

It is not just absentee ballots from overseas military personnel.

Bill Clinton, in a blatant attempt to aid Al Gore, banned polling places from all stateside military bases to make it as inconvenient as possible for our military to vote.

Hey, you GI guys and gals, Remember this the next time you go to the polls.

With numerous allegations of voting
 irregularities surfacing in the state, People For
 the American Way has sent a delegation of its
leaders to Florida. Led by PFAW President
Ralph G. Neas and Vice President and
General Counsel Elliot Mincberg, the PFAW
delegation will be based out of the
organization's Florida regional office in Miami.

Just what Florida needs right now. . .
An invasion of yet another gang of
outsiders with an agenda, a re-vote,
coming down to stir up trouble.

It is not voting irregularities; it is counting
irregularities that are the problem down here.


Voting is not about rights: it is about responsibility.
Candidate's Name 
If you are so stupid that you cannot align a person with a hole,
you should not be allowed to vote  ...  or have sex.


This Florida Ballot Recount  Reminds Me Of A School Budget Vote. If It Is Voted Down.
They Bring It Up Again And Again For Revote Until They Get Their Desired Result.
                   Then We Hear No More About Voting Again!



 We, the people of Florida, are holding this election hostage.

 When you, the people of the US, promise to stop sending us all your old
 people, we will release your election.



The Carolina Gamecocks, after consulting with the Democratic National Committee, have demanded a rematch with the Florida Gators because the score this evening (Gators 41 Gamecocks 21) was too close. There are also several complaints that the playing field was too difficult to understand, with there being goals at BOTH ends of the stadium. They believe that some of the touchdowns scored by Florida were really meant for them, but the Gators got confused and chose the wrong end.

The Reverend Jesse Jackson is headed for Gainesville to represent the 2nd string players who claim they did not get the right to play because they were turned away by their coaches. A demonstration is scheduled for tomorrow morning.

Al Gore, representing the Gamecocks, has asked the game be extended by another hour or so or until such time as the Gamecocks score is higher than the Gators.

"This is the will of the people," Gore stated, "It is only fair that we play this game until it comes to its completion. It should be a slow and unrushed process. The Gators should not be in such a hurry to claim victory."

The media apologizes for their part in this mess. In the first quarter of the game, they proclaimed Carolina to be the winner. A spokesman for the media said,"Competition was fierce to become the first to predict the outcome ....all the indications were that the Gamecocks would carry Florida, but at that time I guess it was too close to call."

Bottom line......... we may not know the outcome of the Carolina vs Florida game for days, maybe even weeks. This may delay bowl  games across America maybe even into next year.

It may seem bizarre but I, for one, am proud to live in a country that lets you change  the rules and the outcome until they are the "Will of the People"....... aren't you?

Andy Olsen

And in the same vein:

NEW YORK --The New York Mets announced today that they are going to
court to get an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series.
The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press
conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major League Players
"We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets
batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we
received and believe we have been denied our right to hit."
One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters
had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It
was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though a much
higher percentage were not confused by the pitches.
Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively
reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in fact
faced the Yankees in inter-league play earlier in the year.
"The fact remains that some of the pitches confused us and denied us of
our right to hit," said the Mets batting coach. "The World Series is not
over yet and the Yankees are celebrating prematurely."
Major League Baseball has reviewed the telecast of all the World Series
games and recounted the balls and strikes called by the umpires of each game.
"While some of the strikes called against the Mets were, in fact, balls, there
were not enough of them to change the outcome of the World Series," the
commissioner said.
Another portion of the Mets legal claim stated that, based on on-base
percentage, the Mets had actually won the World Series, regardless of
the final scores of the games. "It's clear that we were slightly on-base more
often than the Yankees," said a Mets spokesman. "The World Series crown is rightly
The manager of the Mets has remained in relative seclusion, engaging in some
light jogging for exercise. He has stated that he believes "we need to let the
process run its course without a rush to judgment."


Meanwhile, Please Give Me One More Recount




I resent the way the media portrays Florida as a state full of boobs who don't know how to count.
Haven't they noticed that the counties having so much trouble recanvassing the vote are bursting at the seams with transplants from "enlightened" northern states? More than 60 counties, populated primarily by native Floridians, had no trouble at all with expeditiously completing the second count mandated by law and found very few errors.

Who are the boobs here?





An Open Letter from Florida to the rest of the country:

OK, here's the deal.  We in Florida have gotten together and decided to
hold the rest of the country hostage with these election results until
you come and take your parents back home with you!  That's right, we're
tired of hearing how good it was back home and how beautiful your children
We can't stand it any longer!  And where did they learn to DRIVE?????
We're running out of Depends down here and it's gonna get messy.  You
want a president...WE want the speed limit over 20 mph.....Is it a deal?
George W, you listening?  How about you, Al baby...  Ya gettin this?  We mean
it, we're not lettin the results out, we'll stall with lawsuits and claim ballot fraud.
Anything, until you come and take these old farts outta here!
Greg B.   (PS:  I voted 1787 times in Dade County, but I only used my real name
976 times, so I'll never get caught!)


Wondering why the Florida Supreme Court can't rule until Monday? Football, my friend.
The Seminoles and Gators make their hotel reservations a year in advance for this game. All those poor
hacks from the media and all those carpetbagger out-of-state lawyers and union mischief makers,
and others who should be keeping their noses out of Florida's business, are being bumped out of their
hotel rooms to satisfy football fans who have confirmed reservations. (My heart bleeds for them.)
So, the nation will just have to wait  .......

Because this is FOOTBALL country.


Latest Manicure Fad in Palm Beach County


My husband and I are open minded Jewish Liberals and don't want to read any of this trash. Please take us off your mailing list.

(Gosh, this poor henpecked guy ....... his wife even intercepts and reads his E-mail.....and ONE of them, probably her, must have clicked on this website. She may rot in Liberal hell for that brief transgression.)


Palm Beach County
Voter Qualification Test

                                            You are X. Its your turn.

You must get two out of three correct to qualify to vote.


Another Proposed New Ballot for Palm Beach County


Rcvd 11/14/2000

Well   MSNBC, CBS,ABC, NBC,  CNN,  Et Al,  Media's. You still have a chance to win for Gore.

Before 5 PM.


(But, you may not have much credit up there to draw on.)


It all reminds me of a soap opera -where every day rehashes the old and adds a new tidbit.

The hell with it all. I'm off to New Orleans to spend a couple of days at the Stephen Ambrose D Day Museum - and relive in memory a time when patriotism, honor, and integrity meant something in the good old USA.

(Well, they sure don't count for much in three Florida counties or in the Florida Supreme Court.)


   To the citizens of the United States of America,

   In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
   govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
   independence, effective today.

   Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
   over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she
   does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for
   the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
   outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need
   for further elections. The House of Representatives and the Senate will be

   A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you

   To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following  rules
   are introduced with immediate effect:

   1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
   look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
   just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
   your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
   twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
   know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up

   2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
   your behalf.

   3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
   really isn't that hard.

   4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the
   good guys.

   5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
   but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
   confused and give up half way through.

   6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
   football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
   The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
  may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
   longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
   Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
   game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
   (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping
   for  a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like
   nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by

   7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
   they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there
   is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
   have never been the bad guys.

   8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new
   national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

   9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
   own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

   10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

   Thank you for your cooperation.

HRH Elizabeth


Dear Nation,
We, the State of Florida, would like to apologize for not being able to count. We knew our schools were lagging behind the rest of the nation, but we never knew just how badly things were here. Maybe it's from all that pesticide we use to control those giant palmetto bugs. Maybe its from too many margaritas and too much Jimmy Buffet. Maybe, just maybe, the glorious Florida sun has baked our brains just a little too much. And maybe all you yankees who have moved down here are not a smart as you make out to be. Maybe you can't count either.
We also want to apologize that even after hundreds of years of voting, we are not aware of the fact that we can only pick ONE Presidential candidate and not two.
Some of us thought down here in the Sunshine state that we could pick a first choice and then a second choice. Kinda like when we vote for our favorite Disney character.
Oh well.
Again, sincere apologies, we have our abacus' out and we are starting over and we swear we will get it right this time.
The Citizens of the State of Florida


To all:
This is a letter I sent to MSNBC this morning.  If you didn't believe that
the Dems are trying to steal votes, you should have heard this guy.  I could
have accepted Gore last Tuesday, but no longer..........
I was watching your morning discussion segment when the
moderator read a part of a Los Angeles Times article on
how Democrats were instructing their people on how to
look for "dimpled or scratched chads" that would
favor AL Gore and "keep your mouth shut" when
they saw the same marks on a Bush chad.  When asked about
this, one of the democrats made the comment that this was
a "perfectly acceptable strategy".  I hope I'm
not alone in thinking that this is one of the most
un-American statements I've ever heard in my life and
smacks of Communist rhetoric.
   These people just don't get it.  As an American
serviceman, I expect that the votes should show what the
citizens of this country want, and it makes me sick to
think that these people are only interested in the rights
of those that voted for their candidate.

(Name of active duty Naval Commander withheld)


Lets not lose track of Bill and Hill. With all of the hullabaloo over the sleazy tactics of Bill's co-perpetrator Al Gore in trying to circumvent the Florida election laws with vote count after vote count. Bill is in North Viet Nam, (where the American flag is being displayed in a position inferior to the North Viet Nam flag), accepting praise and accolades for opposing the war, draft dodging to Oxford, and organizing Anti-US demonstrations while there. They love him over there in Nam. Hope you Viet Nam vets are taking notice. Hill has flown in, too (at our expense) to enjoy the festivities. We can only hope
they decide to stay there ...... forever.

Bill Posing for a Picture With
Yet Another Ho.


Per a sworn affidavit, one of the Democrat election officials was seen eating chads.
How could he do that?
Gee, what do they taste like?  Chicken ? Naw.
Matzos, ........maybe.


The Democrats want to change the rules AGAIN and count "pregnant" and "dimpled" chads as votes.
These can be given only one honest interpretation. A voter said "OOPS! I almost voted for the wrong person," and then punched out the chad for the candidate of his choice. If they are truly trying to interpret the intent of the voter, a dimple should be read as a rejection of a candidate, not a vote for him.



That's the magic number. So you Dem. hack vote counters, hurry up and "find", fabricate, fake, punch, scratch, rub, smudge, manipulate, impregnate, scrounge, forge, and otherwise mysteriously turn up at least that many additional votes for Gore in order to convince the liberal Florida Supreme Court that your revised re-re-re-count is adequate for them to give the election to Gore on a silver platter.

They're just waiting for an excuse.


They have rewritten Florida Law, redefined the role of the Legislative and Executive Departments, and required three counties to submit revised ballots . . . . . oh yeah, They must submit them on Sunday when all of the offices are closed.

If you were wondering, that is why the Judiciary usually just interprets the laws but doesn't write them.

And now they have caught a Democrat slipping Bush Ballot Cards under the door to an accomplice who was making off with them. Sounds like a desperation move to me. Since this was just one of perhaps many, how will they know the actual true count (as if there is such a thing in south Florida)?


How Gore Plans to Fund the Military,
If Elected

The Lawyers' Corner

The present situation has prompted the revival of lawyer jokes. Here are some from this week's e-mail bag.

Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
It's called, Sosumi.

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on them...and people couldn't figure out
which side to spit on.

How are an orange and a lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging from a tree.

How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are true stories.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save
one of them would you go to lunch or read your newspaper?

What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of lawyers do? He
threatened to release one every hour if his demands were not met.

What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? They are both

What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A round of Skeet.

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your Honor.

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.

What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? Taller.

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? The prostitute
stops screwing you after you are dead.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? The lawyer gets
frequent flyer miles.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer? One is a
blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.

Where can you find a good lawyer?
The nearest cemetery.

Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? To practice.

Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey
have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.

How many sneaky, slimy, disreputable carpetbagger lawyers are there now in
WAAaaaaaaay too many.
The Democratic Canvassing Board locks itself into a room and attempts to count in secret.
The incensed Republicans pound on the doors and demand that the counting be done in full view of the public. In a city that has seen one Democratic demonstration after another, the Republicans, who have had it with the sleazy tactics of the Democrats, also take to the streets and demonstrated themselves.
Wow! Stealing some Democratic thunder.!!!! Its unfair, the Republicans never do that.
Do you believe the audacity of Joe Lieberman, waggling his finger at us, Clinton style, characterizing this activity as a Republican mob of thugs, and saying the poor Canvassing Board was so intimidated that they stopped counting?.........and that's why they can't finish counting by the deadline.?

The sheer AUDACITY!!!   They have absolutely no shame.

Doctor Seuss Goes To Florida

Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes?
Should we count them with a band?
Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like the count,
I will simply throw them out!

I will not let this vote count stand
I do not like them, AL GORE I am!

Can we change these numbers here?
Can we change them, calm my fears?
What do you mean,  Dubya has won?
This is not fair,  this is not fun
Let's count them upside down this time
Let's count until the state is mine!

I will not let this VOTE count stand!
I do not like it, AL GORE I am!

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit!
You have not heard the last of it!
I'll count the ballots one by one
And hold each one up to the sun!
I'll count, recount, and count some more!
You'll grow to hate this little chore

But I will not, cannot let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, AL GORE I am!

I won't leave office, I'm stayin' here!
I've glued my desk chair to my rear!
Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba too,
All telling me that I should sue!
We find the Electoral College vile!
RECOUNT the votes until I smile!

We do not want this vote to stand!
We do not like it, AL GORE I am!

How shall we count this ballot box?
Let's count it standing in our socks!
Shall we count this one in a tree?
And who shall count it, you or me?
We cannot, cannot count enough!
We must not stop,  we must be tough!

I do not want this vote to stand!
I do not like it, AL GORE I am!

What's that? What? What are you trying to say?
You think the current count should stay?
You do not like my counting scheme?
It makes you tense, gives you bad dreams?
Foolish people, you're wrong you'll see!
Your only care should be for me!

I Will not let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, and AL GORE I am!

This column by Wall Street Journalist Peggy Noonan says it all. A Great summary.
You probably can't put up the entire article but thought you would enjoy it.


Well, you are WRONG . Here it is, .....all of it........ and thanks.

            The Greenwood Position

               Now we must fight for our country.

               BY PEGGY NOONAN
               Friday, November 24, 2000 12:01 a.m. EST

               We must fight. And we all know it. And it's fine. 

               We like to complain, those of us of a certain age, that history has
               never given us the gaudy challenges it gave our parents and
               grandparents. But we've had our traumas, and from the time we
               were children: assassinations, riots, Vietnam, Watergate, the
               ayatollah, a stuck economy, the fall of the wall. We've had our

               And now we face a great trial.

               And we're up to it.

               So let's go.

               There was a national election on Tuesday, Nov. 7. The presidential
               race was close, and would be decided by the state of Florida. The
               state's votes were counted. At the end it was close, but George W.
               Bush won.

               A statewide recount was immediately and appropriately called. At
               the end it was close, but Mr. Bush won.

               But the higher reaches of the Democratic Party had a game plan for
               what to do in case of a close vote in a key state, and their machine
               went into motion while Republicans slept. Even before the recount
               was over the outcome was contested.

               On the afternoon of Election Day a Texas telemarketing firm is
               hired to call Democratic voters in Palm Beach County and gin up a
               protest. They had been disenfranchised. By Wednesday there are
               charges that a "butterfly" ballot, designed and approved by
               Democrats and published to no protest in the press, was confusing
               and thus unfair.

               Jesse Jackson is dispatched to Florida, where he charges that
               Holocaust survivors have been denied a voice. Elderly widows
               announce they never meant to vote for anyone but Al Gore. An
               army of Democratic lawyers, political operatives and union members
               is dispatched; they land in Florida and fan out, immediately
              assisting in demands for a hand count. Gore campaign manager
               Donna Brazile announces blacks were kept from the polls with racial
               harassment and, when that wasn't enough, dogs.

               Three Democratic counties in Florida announce they will
               hand-count. But the rules of the hand count change and change

               The Florida secretary of state, a Republican elected official, calls a
               halt. She notes that hand counts are called only when there have
               been charges of broken machines or vote fraud. Fraud and
               breakdown were not charged, and did not in fact occur. She says
               she will certify the election's outcome based on the original vote
               count and the recount that followed, plus overseas absentee
               ballots. Mr. Bush will be the victor.

               She is immediately smeared by Democratic operatives and in the
              press. She is a political "hack," a "Stalinist," a "commissar"; she is a
               vamp, a lackey. The Washington Post, a great newspaper,
               publishes this description of Mrs. Harris: "Her lips were overdrawn
               with berry-red lipstick--the creamy sort that smears all over a
               coffee cup and leaves smudges on a shirt collar. Her skin had been
               plastered and powdered to the texture of pre-war walls in need of
               a skim coat. And her eyes, rimmed in liner and frosted with blue
              shadow, bore the telltale homogeneous spikes of false eyelashes.
               Caterpillars seemed to rise and fall with every bat of her eyelid, with
               every downward glance to double check--before reading--her latest
               'determination.' " Her mouth is "set in a jagged line." She has
               "applied her makeup with a trowel." "One wonders how this
               Republican woman, who can't even use restraint when she's
               wielding a mascara wand, will manage to . . . make sound

               At the same time the Democratic operative Paul Begala writes his
               now-famous essay suggesting Republican candidates draw their
              political strength from murderers, sadists, racists and the killers of
               innocent children.

               Soon a Democratic operative in Washington is revealed to be
               gathering information on electors who will vote for Mr. Bush in the
               Electoral College. Why? To use the information to pressure them to
               vote Mr. Gore's way. It would be surprising to hear that the
               famous Democratic Party private eyes are not on the electors' trail.

               The mainstream press, watching, thinking and facing deadlines,
               issues its conclusion: Conservatives are guilty of inflammatory
               rhetoric. Those columnists, writers and public figures who have
               come forward to oppose what they see as an attempt by
               Clinton-Gore operatives to steal the 2000 presidential election are
               denounced as hotheaded and extreme, dismissed as partisan.

               The hand counting continues. From the first it is completely open
               to mischief. In walks mischief.

               Ballots for Mr. Bush are put in Gore piles. Scads of chads on the
               floor. Vote counters can count a partly removed chad, and then an
               almost-removed chad, and then a mark, a dimple, an indentation, a
               "pregnancy." Standards are announced, altered, announced and
               altered again. Questionable ballots are decided by
               Democratic-dominated canvassing boards.

               Sworn statements under oath begin to emerge: Ballots are found
               with taped chads; ballots are sabotaged, used as fans, found
               bearing Post-It Notes, dropped, misplaced. Eyewitnesses say there
               is clear and compelling evidence of distorting, reinventing,
               miscounting votes. The vote counters--many exhausted and
               elderly, some state workers dragged off lawnmowers, work 7 a.m.
               to 10 p.m. shifts in badly lit rooms. A woman from Broward County
               whose husband is helping the recount writes, "He said it's also
               frustrating because what we are seeing on the news is quite a bit
               different from what is actually going on, little chads everywhere and
               they have no idea where they are coming from."

               From the Associated Press, Nov. 18, datelined Palm Beach: "On
               Saturday [one vote counter] whispered in a pool reporter's ear as
               she was leaving [the hand-counting room], "I've had it. I'm not
               coming back. There are some real games going on in here."

               And not only in there. From the Miami Herald, Nov. 18: "At least 39
               felons--mostly Democrats--illegally cast absentee ballots in
               Broward and Miami-Dade counties. . . . Their convictions range
               from murder and rape to drunk driving. One is in the state's
               registry of sexual offenders."

               In the first two weeks there is not a single charge of Republican
               mischief in the counting rooms. Not a single person comes forward
               to charge that a Republican has done a single thing that is
               dubious, untoward or wrong.

               How could this be? With hundreds of people making thousands of
               decisions, is it possible no Democrat would even make up a charge
               that some Republican had done something wrong? One can't help
               but infer that Democratic discipline is, as usual, operative. If they
               add to the charges of corruption, a fair-minded judge might say:
               Then we must protect both sides and stop the hand counting. But
              if they stop the hand counting, Democrats will not be able to find
               930 votes for Al Gore. And 930 is what he needs.

               So no Democratic charges of corruption are leveled or dreamed up.

               There is no evidence that the absentee ballots of felons have been

               But the absentee ballots of members of the military were
               challenged. Many were thrown out.

               In the most shameful and painful act of the hand counts, the
               Democrats on the ground, and their operators from the
               Democratic National Committee and the state organization and the
               Gore campaign, deliberately and systematically scrutinized for
               challenge every military absentee ballot, and knocked out as many
               as they could on whatever technicality they could find or even

               Reports begin to filter out. The Democratic army of lawyers and
               operatives marches into the counting room armed with a five-page
               memo from a Democratic lawyer, instructing them on how to
               disfranchise military voters. The lawyers and operatives unspool
               reams of computer printouts bearing the names and party
               affiliation of military voters. Those who are Republicans are subject
               to particular and seemingly relentless scrutiny. Right down to
               signatures on ballots being compared with signatures on
               registration cards. A ballot bearing a domestic postmark because a
               soldier had voted, sent his ballot home to his parents and asked
               them to mail it in on time, is thrown out. A ballot that comes with a
               note from an officer explaining his ship was not able to postmark
               his ballot, but that he had voted on time--and indeed it had arrived
               in time--is thrown out, because it has no postmark.

               The Democratic operatives are ruthless, focused. As one witness
               says, "They had a clear agenda."

               Received late Wednesday, an e-mail forwarded from a Republican
               who witnessed the counting of the Brevard County overseas
               absentee ballots.

                  It is 11:30 PM (Tuesday) and I have just returned from
                   the count of absentee ballots, that started at 4PM. Gore
                   had five attorneys there, the sole objective was to
                   disenfranchise the military absentee voter. . . . They
                   challenged each and every vote. Their sole intent was to
                   disqualify each and every absentee voter. They
                   constantly challenged military votes that were clearly
                   legitimate, but they were able to disqualify them on a
                   technicality. I have never been so frustrated in all my life
                   as I was to see these people fight to prevent our active
                   duty Military from voting. They succeeded in a number
                   of cases denying the vote to these fine Men and

                   This was a deliberate all out assault on the Armed
                   Forces solely to sustain the Draft Dodger and his
                   flunky. These people must have a hard time looking at
                   themselves in a mirror. . . . They denied a number of
                   votes postmarked Queens NY, ballots that were clearly
                   ordered from overseas, clearly returned from overseas,
                   and verified by the Post Office that DOD uses the
                   Queens post office to handle overseas mail, were denied
                   because it didn't say APO, They denied military votes
                   postmarked out of Jacksonville, Knowing full well it came
                   from ships at sea and was flown into Jacksonville . . . .

                   This is what you can expect from a Gore administration
                   a further trampling on the Military and more trampling
                   on your rights. . . .

                  The attorneys there treated it all as a joke, and when
                   my wife protested their actions she was told she didn't

               Television both reports the story of what is happening in the
               vote-counting rooms and doesn't report it. There are comic pieces
               and sidebars: "Amazing as it seems, Bernie, there's actually a
               charge that one of the Democratic counters has eaten a chad!"

               But 16 days into the drama there has not been a single serious,
               extended and deeply reported piece on network television
               investigating the charges comprehensively. No "60 Minutes," no
               "Dateline," no "20/20." No extended look at charges of vote
               tampering, no first-person interviews with eyewitnesses who saw
               the Democratic operatives go after and throw out the military

               Television does, however, report "extraordinary anger among
               Republicans." Ed Rollins says "partisan Republicans" are very angry
               about this. Bill Schneider on CNN says he's never seen Republicans
               in Washington "so angry." They muse about "the big question":
               Will these Republicans ever accept the legitimacy of a Mr. Gore if he
               becomes president?

               Oddly enough Republicans do not think that's the big question.

               Can the Democrats steal this election is the question.

               Why is mainstream television (not the talk shows, not Sean and
               Alan, not "Crossfire," but the mainstream news shows) missing
               this story, underreporting it?

               It would be taking sides.

               It would be partisan.

               It would be extreme.

               But there is more. We have all noticed the ideological evolution of
               media in our time. Television is liberal, establishment-oriented, and
               does what it does: It entertains. Shut out of television and eager
               for news, conservatives have turned in the past 20 years to radio.
               And so now radio is conservative, and full of uproar. The Internet
               too is conservative, and full of information, of samizdat.

               But television, the elite media, the great broadsheet newspapers,
               and the clever people who talk loudly on television--that is, the
               powers that be, the forces that are--day by day appear through
               action and inaction, through an inability to see and a refusal to see,
               to be (a) allowing the stealing of an election in Florida, and (b)
               subtly taking out the critics of this hijacking.

               What are we to do?

               In 1939, during parliamentary debate on the coming war in Europe,
               Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain finished another of his hopeful,
               frightened speeches about making peace with Hitler. The Labour
               member of Parliament Arthur Greenwood rose to speak in
               opposition. As he did, the voice of a Tory parliamentarian pierced
               the chamber. "Speak for England, Arthur!" he called. At that the
              chamber exploded, and Chamberlain realized that further
               appeasement was intolerable.

               We are all of us, one way or another, in the Greenwood position.
               And we must speak not as members of a party but as members of
               a nation--the great and fabled one that has been, through our
               lives, the hope of the world.

               The Florida Supreme Court, known for its liberal activism,
               consisting of six Democrats, one independent and no Republicans,
               ruled that Mrs. Harris must include in the certified Florida results
               the final tallies from the corrupted hand counts.

               Gov. Bush will fight in the courts and perhaps in the state
               Legislature. "Make no mistake," he said Wednesday in responding
               to the justices in Tallahassee, "the court rewrote the law. It
               changed the rules, and it did so after the election was over."

               And we must fight, too.

               We must first of all know this will not be over soon. We must be in
               it for the long haul and must fight in any peaceful and legal way
               open to us.

               Yesterday we rested and thought and spent time with our families
               and thanked God for all he has given us. Today we must return to
               the trenches, refreshed and ready.

               Ideas, all modest and obvious, and yours will be better:

               Every Republican senator and congressman, every governor and
               state legislator should starting now come forward and pledge his
              opposition to the Gore attempt to steal the election. They should
               be all over the local airwaves back home, making the case against
               the dishonesty that is occurring. They might point out that most
               thieves have enough respect to rob a house when it is empty, but
               in this case the thieves are stealing while the country is home, and

               Every writer, scribbler, Internet Paul Revere, talker, pundit, thinker,
               essayist, voice: Come forward and speak the truth. Howl it.

               We must point out what needs be pointed out again and again and
               not ducked or hidden: The Clinton-Gore operatives are trying to
               steal the election--and it is wrong. The Democrats in their hunger
               for power will throw the men and women who protect us with their
               lives over the side--and it is wrong.

               We must keep our arguments sharp. The other night Alan Colmes
               challenged Newt Gingrich: Do you really think it fair to charge the
               Democratic Party with trying to suppress military votes? Mr.
               Gingrich replied that you can see the Democratic plan in this: They
               issued a five-page memo on how to knock out military votes, which
               they assume lean Republican. There was no five-page memo on
               how to throw out the absentee ballots from Israel, which they
               assume lean Democratic.

              Ever since this exchange I haven't heard anyone ask if the
               Democrats really mean to be doing what they're doing.

               We must accept that the venue of the fight will change and change
               again. This all may be decided by the Florida Legislature. Or the
               U.S. Supreme Court. Or in Congress. When venues change you
               must be nimble.

               We must be prepared, and learn all we can, and know all we can,
               and spread the word.

               We must accept too that in spite of being spoofed and put down
               and accused of being extreme, it is not wrong to fight in this case,
               it is right. It is not irresponsible--it is the only way of being

               It is wrong to yell "Fire!" for the fun of upsetting your neighbors. It
               is right to yell "Fire!" when your neighbor's house is in flames.

               We must through e-mail and telephone calls and call-ins to radio
               and television report all of the data we are receiving, all of the
              evidence that the theft of an election is taking place day by day in
               Florida. Those on the ground in Florida, in the counting rooms,
               must even more become part of this. The one thing history needs
               more of--and the courts need, too--is first-person testimony.

               Some have suggested a march. I don't know if that's a good idea,
               but it should be discussed, and soon. Perhaps a march on
               Washington, perhaps millions, perhaps dressed in black--in
               mourning for an attempt to subvert democracy. I suppose it would
               look like a huge New York dinner party, but it would also look like a
               people resisting. Perhaps they should march silently, past symbols
               of democracy that are more eloquent in their silence than we with
               our sound. Perhaps there should be placards with the names of
               men and women from military bases whose attempt to vote for
               their commander in chief has been denied.

               Lawn signs. E-mail chains spreading word of what is happening in
               the counting and the deliberating. Calls to political leaders, to local
               newspapers, to radio and television, registering our dismay and

               It must of course remain peaceful--peaceful protest, passive
               resistance, voices strong, clear and modulated. We don't support
               breaking laws--we support upholding the law.

               And of course, in some part of our minds we must look to the
               future. To legislation that will normalize and regularize our voting
               procedures, make clear and just its rules and regulations, see to it
               that a Florida will never happen again.

               A new modesty seems in order. We Americans like to brag about
               how this oldest and greatest democracy can always teach the
               other, little countries how to perform. We've been braying and
               sending our vote counters to less secure republics for years. The
               cocktail parties of the world are now having fun at our expense.
               They should. A modest bow from us seems in order.

               And this idea, from a conservative activist. In January President
               Bush, as his first act in office, should announce that he will give a
               complete pardon to anyone who goes down to the FBI within 30
               days and swears out a confession of his involvement in vote fraud
               and vote tampering in the 2000 elections. It's harder to spin
               history when history has the affidavits.

               And of course we must all pray. I say this more than I do it, and
               not many of us have done it enough, which is the reason this
               happened. Prayer can move mountains; it could have redirected Al
               Gore's ferocity and need, too. Prayer--simply talking to God--is the
               one thing without which we lose.

               And after praying, consider this. There is now all over the Internet
               a quote attributed to Stalin that for so many sums up the Florida
               story: "It doesn't matter who votes, it only matters who count the

               True enough at the moment. But I prefer the last words of a more
               likable lefty, Joe Hill of the Industrial Workers of the World: "Don't

               Ms. Noonan is a contributing editor of The Wall Street Journal and
               author of "The Case Against Hillary Clinton" (Regan Books, 2000).
               Her column appears Fridays.

This is probably too long to post but it makes its point very well.
It is from the December 1st Wall Street Journal.

I agree and here is all of it. America is getting fed up with this charade.

Dimples Wild?
               The only way to keep the game honest is to toss out
               ambiguous ballots.

               Friday, December 1, 2000 12:01 a.m. EST

               OK, belly up and ante up. The world's greatest democracy is going
               to play Miami-Dade. The game works like this: We will deal 625,000
               punched cards, and salted among them will be 10,000 unpunched
               cards. When the pit boss sees an unpunched card, he can award it
              to either player at his discretion. Over in the poker pits they have
               deuces wild; here at the election table we have . . . dimples wild.

               Watching the TV pictures of election counters poring over the
               dimpled chad, it's been hard to stand back and recognize that the
               whole process is preposterous, not to mention wholly illegitimate. If
               a ballot is ambiguous, throw it out, stupid. In the case of punch
               card votes, this means the ballot has to be recognizable to a
               machine, as voters were instructed at the polls. How did we get to
               the point of allocating ambiguous ballots on the basis of 2-1 votes
               of the examiners?

               Before November 7, dimples wild was not the rule in Palm Beach
               County. One fact to emerge from the Florida proceedings is that in
               1990, Theresa LePore, then Palm Beach County's chief deputy
               elections supervisor, issued a counting guideline which said: "But a
               chad that is fully attached bearing only an indentation should not
               be counted as a vote."

               Nor was it the rule in Broward County. Writing in The Wall Street
               Journal Wednesday, Boyden Gray noted: "In a contest of a 1991
               election in Broward County, a Florida court specifically recognized
               that it was proper 'to defer to the count of the tabulation
               equipment following proper calibration and testing,' rather than do
               a manual recount where undervotes resulted from the failure of
               voters to properly punch out chads."

               Miami-Dade tried to hold on to the old way even after November 7;
               it did a 1% recount, decided the machines were working and voted
               to stop there. But Palm Beach voted to count the dimpled chad,
               refusing Judge Burton's request for a ruling by the Secretary of
               State, whose representative advised that recounts were not for the
               purpose of weighing whether voters had made errors. Broward
               also forged ahead, with the Republican examiner eventually
               resigning. Miami-Dade momentarily changed its mind and started to
               recount, but reverted to its earlier refusal when the Florida
               Supreme Court established a difficult if not impossible deadline.

               The dimple-counting itself was even more ridiculous than it looked
               on TV. In Miami-Dade, the hunt wasn't just for dimples, but any
               mark at all. If counter No. 1 felt the "intent" was for Gore, the
               Democratic member simply confirmed it, producing a 2-1 vote for
               the Vice President. A Presidential dimple was counted as a full vote
               even if every other relevant chad on the card was punched clean
               through. In this world "intent" is a one-way street.

               This is the kind of mystical divination that the Florida election laws
               were designed to avert. Dimples wild became the game the moment
               the Florida Supreme Court enjoined Secretary of State Katherine
               Harris from enforcing the deadlines established by state law to set
               an orderly procedure for contested elections. The deadline was the
               immediate issue, but the real issue was whether to delay
               certification to allow time for hand recounts that Mrs. Harris said
              were not justified under Florida law. The Florida Supreme Court
               overruled her, providing the time for a round of dimples wild.

               In the event, Governor Bush came out ahead even under
               dimples-wild rules. The Democratic-dominated election boards
               simply could not bring themselves to exercise their discretion
               ruthlessly enough to suit the purpose of the Gore campaign. So
               the Gore campaign is suing them. It urges Judge N. Sanders Sauls
               to order more rounds with even more wild cards. Today, the
               Supreme Court of the United States will hear arguments on
               whether to overturn the Florida Supreme Court decision that set
               the currently, if recently, prevailing rules.

               At first blush the High Court case seems moot because the
               changed rules did not change the outcome. But only to this point,
               as the persistence of the Gore litigation shows. It is still not
               beyond imagining that Al Gore will become President by virtue of
               his lawyers and his dimpled chads.

               The High Court, however, can go far toward getting to sensible
               rules simply by saying that Mrs. Harris was right in the first place,
               that a close election and the existence of some unallocated ballots
               was no reason to delay the vote certification while election judges
               distributed wild cards by divided vote.

               This issue has significance far beyond the current mess in Florida.
               The Supreme Court should put a stake through the idea of dimples
               wild before it becomes a permanent blight on American democracy.

All it takes is perspective!!
Once there was a young teenage girl who was about to finish her first  year of college.  She considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat  and her father was a rather staunch Republican.
Then one day as she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to programs  like welfare, he stopped her and asked her how she was doing in school.  She answered that she had a 4.0 GPA but it was really tough. She had to  study all the time, never had time to go out and party and often went  sleepless because all of the studying. She didn't have time for a  boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of all her  studying.
He then asked how her friend Mary, that was attending the same college,  was doing.  She replied that she was barely getting by. She had a 2.0  GPA, and never studied. She was very popular on campus and was at
parties all the time. She often wouldn't show up for classes because she  was hung over.
He then asked his daughter why she didn't go to the Dean's office and  ask why she couldn't take 1.0 off her 4.0 and give it to her friend that  only had a 2.0. That way they would both have a 3.0 GPA.

The daughter fired back and said "that wouldn't be fair, I worked really  hard for mine and my friend has done nothing".  The father smiled and said: "Welcome to the Republican Party".

Finally, to have some fun with this go to:


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